Maybe I just completely lack finesse, or maybe I'm doomed to be friendless and alone forever. It's hard not to let depression get the better of you; not to let it keep you from getting up everyday, taking a shower, and finding something funny to watch just to cheer yourself up.
I really wasn’t trying to piss Veronika off; I was just trying to help her with Angel – and Angel’s jealousy of Snowball. Dad’s right; Angel feels betrayed, and Veronika just wasn’t seeing it herself. So not she’s likely not going to take to me for the next several days, and all because I, apparently, am an entirely evil person (of course, if she needs or wants something, she’ll likely talk to me then. She’s a bit of hypocrite that way).
…Damn it, but I wish I had friends…
I suppose I've had friends in my day; Amanda, Traci, Tara, maybe even Cheyla (my goodness, I actually can't remember how to spell her first name!) at one time (I counted Kayla once, but she just flies through friends so I couldn't anymore - hard to do when you know she just replaced you with someone new. Not to mention that she never called me again afterward of even emailed me - except for the extreme rarity).
What really upsets me, though, is that neither of my sisters ever visit me except upon the rare occasion where they want to borrow something or use the computer. Maybe I've forgotten how to communicate with them, considering that I never see them.
And do you have any idea how difficult it is to have a conversation with my Dad, when he's practically always telling me that my opinions/observations are wrong? And I can't really tell anyone any of these things, but not even Mom really understands - though I know she tries to (maybe I'd have a better time talking to Dad if he hadn't basically told me that my religion makes no sense and is "ridiculous" - I've never told him that I think he might accidentally be worshiping the christian devil).
But anyway, I just needed someone to talk to - heaven knows that Basie isn't much help (even if she is my best friend), and there really isn't anyone else in the world I can talk to. You don't even know how lonely it is to be completely without friends - and all because you have an anxiety disorder that prevents you from not only making friends, but keeping them (and even Tara, with her many problems, never tried to understand that).
I really wasn’t trying to piss Veronika off; I was just trying to help her with Angel – and Angel’s jealousy of Snowball. Dad’s right; Angel feels betrayed, and Veronika just wasn’t seeing it herself. So not she’s likely not going to take to me for the next several days, and all because I, apparently, am an entirely evil person (of course, if she needs or wants something, she’ll likely talk to me then. She’s a bit of hypocrite that way).
…Damn it, but I wish I had friends…
I suppose I've had friends in my day; Amanda, Traci, Tara, maybe even Cheyla (my goodness, I actually can't remember how to spell her first name!) at one time (I counted Kayla once, but she just flies through friends so I couldn't anymore - hard to do when you know she just replaced you with someone new. Not to mention that she never called me again afterward of even emailed me - except for the extreme rarity).
What really upsets me, though, is that neither of my sisters ever visit me except upon the rare occasion where they want to borrow something or use the computer. Maybe I've forgotten how to communicate with them, considering that I never see them.
And do you have any idea how difficult it is to have a conversation with my Dad, when he's practically always telling me that my opinions/observations are wrong? And I can't really tell anyone any of these things, but not even Mom really understands - though I know she tries to (maybe I'd have a better time talking to Dad if he hadn't basically told me that my religion makes no sense and is "ridiculous" - I've never told him that I think he might accidentally be worshiping the christian devil).
But anyway, I just needed someone to talk to - heaven knows that Basie isn't much help (even if she is my best friend), and there really isn't anyone else in the world I can talk to. You don't even know how lonely it is to be completely without friends - and all because you have an anxiety disorder that prevents you from not only making friends, but keeping them (and even Tara, with her many problems, never tried to understand that).
