Oct. 12th, 2008

Maybe I just completely lack finesse, or maybe I'm doomed to be friendless and alone forever. It's hard not to let depression get the better of you; not to let it keep you from getting up everyday, taking a shower, and finding something funny to watch just to cheer yourself up.

I really wasn’t trying to piss Veronika off; I was just trying to help her with Angel – and Angel’s jealousy of Snowball. Dad’s right; Angel feels betrayed, and Veronika just wasn’t seeing it herself. So not she’s likely not going to take to me for the next several days, and all because I, apparently, am an entirely evil person (of course, if she needs or wants something, she’ll likely talk to me then. She’s a bit of hypocrite that way).

…Damn it, but I wish I had friends…

I suppose I've had friends in my day; Amanda, Traci, Tara, maybe even Cheyla (my goodness, I actually can't remember how to spell her first name!) at one time (I counted Kayla once, but she just flies through friends so I couldn't anymore - hard to do when you know she just replaced you with someone new. Not to mention that she never called me again afterward of even emailed me - except for the extreme rarity).

What really upsets me, though, is that neither of my sisters ever visit me except upon the rare occasion where they want to borrow something or use the computer. Maybe I've forgotten how to communicate with them, considering that I never see them.

And do you have any idea how difficult it is to have a conversation with my Dad, when he's practically always telling me that my opinions/observations are wrong? And I can't really tell anyone any of these things, but not even Mom really understands - though I know she tries to (maybe I'd have a better time talking to Dad if he hadn't basically told me that my religion makes no sense and is "ridiculous" - I've never told him that I think he might accidentally be worshiping the christian devil).

But anyway, I just needed someone to talk to - heaven knows that Basie isn't much help (even if she is my best friend), and there really isn't anyone else in the world I can talk to. You don't even know how lonely it is to be completely without friends - and all because you have an anxiety disorder that prevents you from not only making friends, but keeping them (and even Tara, with her many problems, never tried to understand that).
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Mar. 27th, 2008

Flash Game

This game is obsessively fun o.O

Feb. 12th, 2008

Queen of Glass

OMG! I just finished one of the best stories ever! It's called "Queen of Glass" by S.J. Maas.

Yes, it's a very long, epic story. And no where near as cheesy as the summary makes it sound! It's a well thought-out, rounded story and I love it to pieces!!!

She's even getting it published. A trilogy, with a sequel trilogy in the making ^_^

Link: http://www.fictionpress.com/s/697932/1/

Summary: The bargain was simple: a kingdom for her life. A retelling of the classic Cinderella story from a completely different point of view.

Other Info: Complete - Fantasy - Fiction Rated: T - English - Romance/Action/Adventure - Chapters: 83 - Words: 678579 - Reviews: 6412 - Updated: 4-1-07 - Published: 4-2-02

Jan. 17th, 2008

Blah, Blah, Blah

Been a very long while since I've posted anything here. Funny how this is InsaneJournal, but all I ever use it for is completely random, ballistic stuff that I would never put in a "real" journal. But then again, "journal" doesn't always equal "diary", most just usually assume it does.

Anyway, still ever at the top of my fanfic game, instead of five, here are my Top Ten Favorite FanFics of All Time (I actually have a list on 100 fics, but I am in no way ever going to post the whole damned thing!)


1. The Marriage Stone by Josephine Darcy
Summary: To avoid the machinations of the Ministry, Harry must marry a reluctant Severus Snape. But marriage to Snape is only the beginning of Harry's problems. Voldemort has returned, and before too long Harry's marriage may determine the world's fate.
Warnings: This story is Slash of the HP/SS variety (there will also be some SB/RL and HG/RW as a side plot). My rating, however, is more due to violence than any explicit sexual content. I tend to focus more on 'romance' rather than anything graphically sexual. If you do not like Slash, don't read this.
Pairing: Severus/Harry
Status: WIP
Chapters: 69
Rating: R

Linkage: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/3484954/1/The_Marriage_Stone

2. Guilty As Sin by riffraff
Summary: What happens when Harry turns out to be a darker creature than the dark lord he's supposed to be fighting?
Warnings: M/M,M/M/M
Pairings: Severus/Harry/Draco
Status: Complete
Chapters: 57
Rating: NC-17

Linkage: http://hp.adultfanfiction.net/story.php?no=544202646

3. Evernight by LilRinnieB
Summary: It's Harry's seventh year and there's a new strategy in the war against Voldemort: "Fight darkness with darkness." NOT a Dark!Harry fic in the usual sense.
Warnings: AU/AR,HJ,Language,Lemon,MPreg,OC,Oral,Yaoi, BP, WIP
Pairing: Severus/Harry
Status: WIP
Chapters: 38
Rating: NC-17

Linkage: http://hp.adultfanfiction.net/story.php?no=600008684

4. Crumbling Pedestal by Shivani
Summary: Harry's date with Voldemort at the conclusion of the Triwizard tournament didn't go quite as planned. Fate steps in with a 'unique' opportunity, offering Harry the chance to live and mature in the past. For a while, anyway.
Warnings: Slash, brief het, time travel, the founders, moderate super!Harry, identity hopping, clichés....
Pairing: Severus/Harry
Status: Complete
Chapters: 40
Rating: R

Linkage: http://hp.grazhir.com/cp/

5. Furry Magic by neichan
Summary: There are lycanthropes out there in the wizarding world. An attack on Harry gives him a whole new life. And troubles coping with all the changes.
Warnings: AU, D/s, First Time, friendship, graphic sex, Hurt/Comfort, m/m, mild violence, MPreg, slash, Spanking, violence, Voyeurism
Pairing: Lucius/Harry
Status: Complete
Chapters: 111
Rating: NC-17

Linkage: http://www.squidge.org/~peja/cgi-bin/viewstory.php?sid=7462&chapter=1

6. Not Your Usual Veela Mate by Janara
Summary: Draco is a Veela and guess who his mate is? I've tried to write a Veela story where the two don't jump into bed immediately, hence the title. Will contain Dumbledore bashing. HPDM LMSS AU from book 5
Warnings: N/A
Pairing: Draco/Harry
Status: WIP
Chapters: 66
Rating: R

Linkage: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/2571676/1/Not_Your_Usual_Veela_Mate

7. Curse of Fate by Mistress Nika
Summary: Thousands of years into the future, vampire Harry only wants to join his loved ones in death. However, his curse of immortality is absolute. Therefore he sends himself back into the body of his infant self, vowing to this time refuse eternity. When do things ever go according to plan? Unexpected changes to the timeline, people who aren't as they once were and more send his life spiraling out of his control.
Warnings: AU, slash, het, angst, language, violence, time travel, VampireHarry, DarkLordHarry
Pairing: Harry/Lucius, Harry/Severus
Status: WIP
Chapters: 21 + prologue
Rating: R

Linkage: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/2703901/1/The_Curse_of_Fate

8. Irreversible Destiny by SheWolfe7
Summary: AU. HPLV. Dark!Harry. Severitus. 7th Year fic. Can someone's destiny really be set in stone? It's time for change, time for revolution and time for truths to be revealed. Freedom comes in many forms and Cyriacus Snape is about to usher in a new unexpected future. Other warnings: rape, violence, adult language, drugs, chan, sex, torture.
Warnings: Violence, Adult Language, Sexual Situations, Non-con (rape), Character Death
Pairing: Voldemort/Harry
Status: Complete
Chapters: 27
Rating: NC-17

Linkage: http://hpfandom.net/eff/viewstory.php?sid=2656

9. Growing Pains by SensiblyTainted
Summary: The summer after Sirius' death: the abuse at the Dursley's leaves him broken. Snape is asked to try and help, and discovers that the key to saving Harry may be Draco, who has returned after his own difficult summer.
Warnings: N/A
Pairing: Draco/Harry
Status: Complete
Chapters: 29
Rating: R

Linkage: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/2388416/1/Growing_Pains

10. Cambiare Podentes Series by Jordan Grant

Cambiare Podentes: Invocare
Summary: A new prophecy comes to light, one that promises death for Harry Potter and enslavement for the wizarding world, unless Harry himself consents to being sexually enslaved--irrevocably and for life--to Severus Snape.
Warnings: Addiction/Drug Use, Ambiguous Consent, Dom/Sub Relationship, Hurt/Comfort, Non-Con, Violence/Torture
Pairing: Severus/Harry
Status: Complete
Chapters: 51
Rating: NC-17

Linkage: http://www.walkingtheplank.org/archive/viewstory.php?sid=1515&warning=4

Cambiare Podentes: Madurare by
Summary: Now that Harry has been bound in slavery, how will he and Severus mature the spell to full completion? And how will they deal with the consequences of irrevocable enslavement? The second volume and conclusion to Cambiare Podentes: Invocare.
Warnings: Addiction/Drug Use, Ambiguous Consent, Hurt/Comfort, Partner Betrayal
Pairing: Severus/Harry
Status: Complete
Chapters: 56
Rating: NC-17

Linkage: http://www.walkingtheplank.org/archive/viewstory.php?sid=1985

Dec. 10th, 2007

Just Because

I've found the coolest site ever (if you like horses, and have patience)!!! They're feedable, breedable virtual horses =^_^=

http://www.howrse.com/?parrain=jynkers

....And now for something completely different.... >_>;

More random quotes from "my story" (I've got to come up with a decent name for it... >_<). These are unrelated to each other. And no, I wont tell you who these characters are. Maybe in a different post, but not this one.

"I will rip your arms off and beat you to death with the soggy ends!"
-Quen (original quote by Riffraff)

"But don't you realize, deart-heart, you're already dead? You just haven't stopped bleeding yet."
-Mailie (original quote by Josephine Darcy)

"I am only a minion to my own commands, just as you are in survitude of them."
-Xeoaph

"You pick up the dagger because the sun isn't so important after all - you've always preferred the shadows, the dark, the gloaming - and the stars are all falling anyways; the stars are dying and dead!"
-chapter header

"...I wanted to believe as I watched your world crumble in your hands, I wanted to believe as you raised a glass to your last stand, I wanted to believe you would win... the war in your head that I did not understand..."
-chapter header

"I have defied Gods and Demons. I am your shield, I am your sword. I know you, your past, and your furture. This is how the world ends."
-Xeoaph

Nov. 8th, 2007

...Meh

Okay, so I know it's extremely late to be posting anything like this, all things concidered. But meh.

i'm in slytherin!

be sorted @ nimbo.net

...To be honest, when I first took the test I got Ravenclaw... though I'm uncertain as to why. Sure, I read in my spare time. But I'm not a learnaholic. I usually read fantasy. You know fiction. Non-fiction annoys me. So I re-did the test. All of the answers were still truthful, it was just the second-most-likely response I'd have.

Oct. 26th, 2007

Randomization

Link to my feedable pet:
http://gaiapets.tralha.net/feedables.php?mode=8772,f

Another Random Excert from My Story:

"If you are quite finished staggering about, perhaps we can go inside?" She drawled; the beginnings of a sneer on her lips. Valkyn laughed, and in so doing, lost his balance and fell to the ground. Ele rolled her eyes and sighed. "You can at least attempt to be useful for something other than making me nauseous."

"Ah, but then you'd have no use for me." He chided.

"I highly doubt there is anything in that excuse for a brain I could possibly find interesting." She hissed angrily. "Now perhaps I am too imaginative, but I would be willing to bet they will be storming the castle at some point, waving pitchforks and starting bonfires. So can we get on with it?"

Valkyn groaned aloud. "I'll just be off, then, to contemplate my doom." He muttered, and waved his hand. The door opened with an elegant spark of blue flame. Ele closed her eyes and took a deep breath, opting not to point out his lack of foresight. "Get off the ground. She said at last. "We have much to accomplish." She swept passed him and into the ominous building, and thus failed to see her long-time friend making faces at her back.

Oct. 15th, 2007

Favorite Quotes

^ Topic

"There is more than one way to burn a book. And the world is full of people running about with lit matches."
-Ray Bradbury

"I am not one who was born in the possession of knowledge; I am one who is fond of antiquity, and earnest in seeking it there."
-Confucius

"If you’re leaving scorch-marks, you need a bigger gun."
-Unknown

"That which does not kill you has made a tactical error."
-Unknown

"When the going gets tough, the tough call for close air support."
-Unknown

"There is no 'overkill'. There is only 'open fire' and 'I need to reload'."
-Unknown

"I am enough of an artist to draw freely upon my imagination. Imagination is more important than knowledge. Knowledge is limited. Imagination encircles the world."
-Albert Einstein

"To save your world you asked this man to die:
Would this man, could he see you now, ask why?"
-W.H. Auden, Epitaph for an Unknown Soldier

"When the rich wage war it’s the poor who die."
–Jean-Paul Sartre

"Do or do not, there is no try."
-Yoda

"He only profits from praise who values criticism."
-Heinrich Heine

"Well-timed silence hath more eloquence than speech."
-Martin Fraquhar Tupper

"We've got what it takes, but it's going to take all we've got."
-Jack Black

Sep. 28th, 2007

More Lyrics

These are two of my favorite Evanescence songs. They're both pretty sad, but I love them anyway. I've had them both stuck in my head for days (until today), so here you go:

Breathe No More

I've been looking in the mirror for so long.
That I've come to believe my soul's on the other side.
All the little pieces falling, shatter.
Shards of me,
Too sharp to put back together.
Too small to matter,
But big enough to cut me into so many little pieces.
If I try to touch her,
And I bleed,
I bleed,
And I breathe,
I breathe no more.

Take a breath and I try to draw from my spirits well.
Yet again you refuse to drink like a stubborn child.
Lie to me,
Convince me that I've been sick forever.
And all of this,
Will make sense when I get better.
But I know the difference,
Between myself and my reflection.
I just can't help but to wonder,
Which of us do you love.
So I bleed,
I bleed,
And I breathe,
I breathe no...
Bleed,
I bleed,
And I breathe,
I breathe,
I breathe-
I breathe no more.

Missing

Please, please forgive me,
But I won't be home again.
Maybe someday you'll look up,
And, barely conscious, you'll say to no one:
"Isn't something missing?"

You won't cry for my absence, I know -
You forgot me long ago.
Am I that unimportant...?
Am I so insignificant...?
Isn't something missing?
Isn't someone missing me?

[Chorus:]
Even though I'm the sacrifice,
You won't try for me, not now.
Though I'd die to know you love me,
I'm all alone.
Isn't someone missing me?

Please, please forgive me,
But I won't be home again.
I know what you do to yourself,
I breathe deep and cry out,
"Isn't something missing?
Isn't someone missing me?"

[Chorus]

And if I bleed, I'll bleed,
Knowing you don't care.
And if I sleep just to dream of you
I'll wake without you there,
Isn't something missing?
Isn't something...

Favorite FanFics

For those who don't know, I read alot of HP fanfiction - slash fanfiction (if you don't know what slash/yaoi is, go away). Anyway, these are my top five favorite fics, and I simply had to share them:

1. Guilty As Sin by riffraff
Summary: What happens when Harry turns out to be a darker creature than the dark lord he's supposed to be fighting?
Warnings: M/M,M/M/M
Pairings: Harry/Severus/Draco
Status: Complete
Chapters: 57
Rating: NC-17

Linkage: http://hp.adultfanfiction.net/story.php?no=544202646

2. Evernight by LilRinnieB
Summary: It's Harry's seventh year and there's a new strategy in the war against Voldemort: "Fight darkness with darkness." NOT a Dark!Harry fic in the usual sense.
Warnings: AU/AR,HJ,Language,Lemon,MPreg,OC,Oral,Yaoi, BP, WIP
Pairing: Harry/Severus
Status: Actively in progress
Chapters: 38
Rating: NC-17

Linkage: http://hp.adultfanfiction.net/story.php?no=600008684

3. Furry Magic by neichan
Summary: There are lycanthropes out there in the wizarding world. An attack on Harry gives him a whole new life. And troubles coping with all the changes.
Warnings: AU, D/s, First Time, friendship, graphic sex, Hurt/Comfort, m/m, mild violence, MPreg, slash, Spanking, violence, Voyeurism
Pairing: Harry/Lucius
Status: Complete
Chapters: 111
Rating: NC-17

Linkage: http://www.squidge.org/~peja/cgi-bin/viewstory.php?sid=7462&chapter=1

4. Not Your Usual Veela Mate by Janara
Summary: Draco is a Veela and guess who his mate is? I've tried to write a Veela story where the two don't jump into bed immediately, hence the title. Will contain Dumbledore bashing. HPDM LMSS AU from book 5
Warnings:
Pairing: Harry/Draco
Status: Actively in progress
Chapters: 66
Rating: R

Linkage: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/2571676/1/Not_Your_Usual_Veela_Mate

5. Curse of Fate by Mistress Nika
Summary: Thousands of years into the future, vampire Harry only wants to join his loved ones in death. However, his curse of immortality is absolute. Therefore he sends himself back into the body of his infant self, vowing to this time refuse eternity. When do things ever go according to plan? Unexpected changes to the timeline, people who aren't as they once were and more send his life spiraling out of his control.
Warnings: AU, slash, het, angst, language, violence, time travel, VampireHarry, DarkLordHarry
Pairing: Harry/Lucius, Harry/Severus
Status: Actively in progress
Chapters: 21 + prologue
Rating: R

Linkage: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/2703901/1/The_Curse_of_Fate

Sep. 26th, 2007

Random Excerpt

I was bored today, so this is what I got:

Random Excerpt from My Story:

"I wish an apple a day would keep the morons away." Naatika whispered balefully. Across from them sat Luki's brother Kaisheen - a notorious nut whose past-time was torturing unlucky (and unwary) humans. "Throwing the apples at them works too." Valkyn chimed in, a cocky grin on his face. She glared and smacked him atop the head. "Never miss the chance to shut up." She hissed.

Without missing a beat, Valkyn raised his voice so that Kaisheen could hear him, and said seriously: "One must see without allowing perception to cloud judgment, lest they fall into their own trap." The room went silent, and Naatika wasn't certain what to say. A quick look at Kaisheen showed the same confusion she knew was on her own face. "Memory is the absence of necessity." he continued, "so smile, because it confuses people."

Naatika brought a hand up to pinch the bridge of her nose while Kaisheen blinked slowly. "Just... stop talking." She commanded warily. She heard him chuckling, and knew he was bound to do something else before the night was out.
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Sep. 18th, 2007

In The Light

Okay, so I usually have very little to talk about. Not sure why, exactly, I even have this journal with just how seldom I remember it.

But anyway, I read way to much fanfiction for my own good, but sometimes I find little surprises hidden in the various texts. Like this song. It's quickly become one of my favorites (though it took me forever to find a site that would play the damned thing >_>).

But anyway, here are the lyrics to a sad, upbeat song that happens to be a favorite of mine. Enjoy:

In The Light by Full Blown Rose

Winter winds have gone and faded
I told the skies of thoughts of gray
Tears upon my pillow laying
A child lost to pain
I pray for better days

Lift me up
Lead me from this place
Let your love be mercy on my face
Rising up, I changed before your eyes
Out of darkness, standing in the light

Heaven hoped you’d come and change me
Out of that, just make me whole
Lift me up and recreate me
And help me overcome myself
Lead me from hell

Lift me up
Lead me from this place
Let your love be mercy on my face
Rising up, I changed before your eyes
Out of darkness, standing in the light

I’m rising up, I’m moving on
Give me strength to carry on
I feel the light upon my face
I hear the angels’ words of grace
My broken wings will never fly
Lift me up and justify
I’m standing up, I’m standing out
I feel the warmth come crashing down

Lift me up
Lead me from this place
Let your love be mercy on my face
Rising up, I’ve changed before your eyes
Out of darkness, standing in the light

Sep. 5th, 2007

Something I found...

...in an old notebook of mine.

Now, I'm something of an author. I dabble in poetry, but really I'm attempting to write a story that’s been trying to form in my head for the better part of five years.

Anyway, while searching through the copious amount of notes I’ve taken, I found this:

"Have you ever thought that, perhaps the world really did revolve around only one being? Conceivably in some unseen world, every thought they have had, every move they have made, and every choice they have manufactured changed the world in some unpredictable way. Perchance, worlds are destroyed on their singular whim…"

I know it sounds unfinished, and frankly that’s not the issue. This is: I know that I wrote this. I know, because it was in my handwriting and it was with my notes (obviously). Problem: I have no recollection of it. And it sounds so eerily deep, nothing like what I usually write. I always focus too hard on description and put very little effort into the story – something I’m trying to fix.

But the above sentence just sounds so… enticing. And amazing. Like something I’d expect to read in a published novel – but only as a summery, of course. I just found to be particularly odd that I had written it.

And yeah, I know it’s not prudent to so blatantly announce something like this, but I couldn’t help it.

First Post!

A completely random post designed to inform the masses that this lovely layout was made by http://asylums.insanejournal.com/nameless_layout/

And while I'm being completely random, here are three of my favorite quotes:

"I am everything and nothing. I am the voice of the earth's cry and the sound of magic as it whispers along your veins. I am the blinding white of life and the suffocating darkness of death. I am, in a word, opportunity."
-Shivani

"Hold fast to dreams for if dreams die, life is a broken winged bird that cannot fly."
-Langston Hughes

"I could not at any age be content to take my place in a corner by the fireside and simply look on."
-Eleanor Roosevelt

-The End *bows*